if this were a letter to my ex boyfriends it would maybe involve smiling emoticons

im highly skilled at being a good ex girlfriend, and can provide the references

one ex boyfriend’s girlfriend wants to meet me, just as an example of my skill

i had sex with another ex boyfriend recently and we are going to be friends forever

i almost texted him today to ask if i can go play with his brother’s dog

but i didnt, because that seems a little bit like an inconvenience to his brother, and im sure he doesnt want to inconvenience his brother, hes a good brother

and im a good ex girlfriend

i have been insulted by ex boyfriends but i understand where they were coming from, and i look forward to remaining friends in the years to come

if i had the money, i would think up the perfect birthday gifts for my ex boyfriends and i would mail those to them on their birthdays with a friendly funny card

because the thing is, it wasnt me, it was them

so i will be here to support them while they figure themselves out

and i will make sure to never remind them of the ways in which they hurt me

because im a good ex girlfriend

im good at what i do

and its extremely fulfilling

A mí nadie me protege de las paredes vacías. De las chinchetas en el suelo de alquiler, de una habitación de alquiler, de una vida cara de alquiler que mis pulmones no soportan. No trato de dar pena: procuro dar asco. No trato la belleza: procuro mi delirio. No trato la juventud: comprendo lo infantil de mis facciones. Mi desánimo. Mis ganas de llorar. Nunca me levantaría de esta cama. Comería aquí. Defecaría justo aquí. Haría el amor bajo el colchón. Así. Con estos ojos. Así. La mañana es perversa con su luz. Nadie protege mi diario desprotegido. Mi vida desprotegida, que, lo sé, a veces ni siquiera se parece a ésta que prometo.